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A man with the surname "Murders" was arrested for (guess what) attempted murder! Talk about a self-fulfilling prophecy. That's why I'm always after my friend, Betty Burninhell, to change her name.
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Don't you just love dumb criminals? A guy walked into a bank with a ski mask over his face and was busted before he could make a grab for the cash. He didn't even get a chance to unfurl his 6-foot long, "THIS IS A HOLD-UP!" banner.
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A pollution control worker tried to kill his boss by poisoning his coffee, just because the boss forbade coffee-drinking at workstations. Imagine if the boss took away his parking spot. SPLAT!
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A guy bought a Porsche with a $91,000 personal check. Problem was, he only had $900 in the bank. Then he bought a house and a boat – before he got caught. Is this what they mean by "worry-free checking?"
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The woman who won big bucks from Bill O'Reilly in that sexual harassment suit complained about the cost of a cup of Starbucks coffee. The barista's lucky she didn't sue him for extortion.
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