Smart Cookies Don't Crumble

I don't feel so bad now that it took me almost three years to find a job. In Bulgaria, a woman with an IQ of 200 and five master's degrees is on the dole. She said, "In Bulgaria, employers don't want clever employees." Take it from me, lady, they're not so crazy about them in the U. S. of A., either.

A few months ago, I received in the mail a full-color brochure that touted the offerings of a big cable company. I was going to toss it immediately because at that point, I could barely afford dinner, let alone anything as frivolous as an entertainment package. However, something made me take a look. I was appalled by the sloppy writing within. There were typos, misspellings, tortured grammatical constructions, and factual errors. My immediate reaction was, someone's getting paid for this dreck. I could do it so much better; so much more professionally. I decided to take action.

Maybe, just maybe, I could create a job for myself. This has always been my hope. I've had little luck applying for jobs through Monster, Hot Jobs, and the like. Maybe this could be my chance.

Coincidentally, I had a contact at this company; someone whose name I had been given by a friend months before in my tortuous attempt at networking. I sat down and wrote this person a letter, tactfully explaining that the brochure was not up to the organization's usual high standards. I documented all of the problem areas and let this person know that I was available, if the firm needed a diligent copywriter. I ended my letter by saying I would be calling within the week.

Two days later, this person called me. She said that she and her colleague, the vice president of the department that produced the brochure, had a good laugh about the subject. This was more than a little surprising to me. I didn't think that this badly written brochure was anything to laugh about, but I went along. She said the production VP would be calling me. An hour later, she did. She seemed a little distant; a little put off about having to call. Nevertheless, she asked me to come in and see her, and I did.

At our meeting, she told me that the copywriter who wrote the brochure (rather than being fired) had just left for a job with a major advertising agency. There actually was a job opening here!! What fabulous timing! I was thinking this at the same time I was absorbing the fact that that talentless copywriter had landed another job. I bet he didn't show his new employer that piece-of-crap brochure!

You know that feeling you get when you realize that someone hates you before she even lays eyes on you? Well, welcome to my world. I knew from the moment I sat down that this woman hated my guts for pointing out to her colleague the failing of her department. I cannot imagine how this woman let a sloppy marketing piece be mailed out to thousands of customers, but she did, and now she was having it shoved under her nose by an upstart like me. I knew for sure that it was hopeless when I showed her my writing samples and she glanced at them for a minute before she handed them back to me. I said that she could keep them; that they were copies that I had made for her, but she said no. I might as well have walked out of the office at that moment, and saved myself a little time and a lot of aggravation.

Why was she telling me about the job when she seemed to show no interest in me? In retrospect, I think she had to see me; that the colleague who recommended me had put her in an awkward position. Refusing to see me would have cast her in a bad light; having to deny that the brochure was a problem. No one likes to have their failings brought to light, even if it's good for the company's reputation.

At the end of our discourse, I asked her what the next steps would be. She said she was just starting the interview process. I asked if I could call her for an update, and she was annoyed. Annoyed! That clinched it. I knew I'd never see her again. Another wonderful interview experience. I should have stayed home and watched Oprah.

In retrospect, I'm not sorry for what I did, and I'd do it again. I don't think anyone should get away with sloppy work. I thought I handled myself well. I was tactful and polite and I never said a negative word about the company, the writer, or the brochure. I presented myself as a positive alternative. In short, I wasted a lot of time.

As that smart cookie from Bulgaria said, "employers don't want clever employees." But that's not going to stop me. And, if you're looking for work, it shouldn't stop you, either. Somebody, somewhere has to appreciate smart cookies. To those of you who can appreciate this, I say, persevere, and don't crumble.