Thursday, October 28, 2004

Today's Monologue

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A man tossed a live wire into his wife's bath just to "scare" her. That's nothing—for her birthday, he's planning a surprise trip to the Falluja Hilton.

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God bless Californians. A guy in Sacramento is using vegetable oil to power his car. Wanna bet this is the start of a trend? By next year, we'll all be driving the new Mitsubishi Mazola.

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A new book about the country of Bhutan weighs 133 pounds and contains enough paper to cover a football field. The funeral for the reviewer will take place on Thursday.

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In Holland, coffee made from beans taken from cat droppings costs $25.00 an ounce. Watch for Starbucks to get in on the act. Look for their new offering, a " tall Tabby Frappucchino."

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In London, an artist has constructed the world's tallest origami penis, almost 11 feet tall. That comes as something of a relief to David Beckham, who's no longer considered to be the biggest dick in England.

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