Saturday, October 08, 2005

Oh, to be in England!

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In London, they've come up with a code of conduct for Santa Claus:

  • cannot wear red suit to Target store openings


  • must comb the Weetabix crumbs out of one's beard before every appearance


  • may not use elves for heavy lifting or construction of an in-ground pool


  • must pleasure Mrs. Claus prior to departure on eve of December 24th


  • must be vigilant about scooping up reindeer droppings


  • must periodically check naughty/nice list; update accordingly


  • December 26: dry-clean suit; give elves bonus; sort through cookie gifts and discard those with protruding nails


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They're certainly busy with important matters in London. Now they're looking for the ugliest vegetable, in a year-long competition. Does Camilla qualify?

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