Sunday, August 07, 2005

Touching Stories

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A New York City politician is throwing an erotic fundraiser. Kind of gives new meaning to the term, “pressing the flesh.”

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A man is going to prison for sexually assaulting a sleeping woman seated next to him in an airplane. What a first-class asshole.

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Macintosh just introduced a multi-button mouse. The gang in Redmond rallied to invent the same thing pronto, until they realized that, for once, they’re ahead of the curve.

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In Oregon, a high school football coach has been reprimanded for licking the bleeding wounds of his players. Bet he douses the winners with Sangria instead of Gatorade.

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Google is looking for a chef for its headquarters restaurant. Hot tip: incumbent must know how to make moo google gai pan.

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