Fa-sheezy

Famously unmarried Jennifer Wilbanks has inspired the marketing of ''Jennifer's High Tailin' Hot Sauce'' and a Runaway Bride action figure. What's next? Glad you asked:

• From Gown to Town: a snap-on wedding dress that converts to a chic summer suit.



• Steak or Fish To Go!: wedding dinner take-out.



• Band on the Run: a CD of first dance tunes, such as "Because You Loved Me," "When a Man Loves a Woman," and "Where is the Love?"



• The Wedding Ring Toss game.



• Bachelor Beer: the preferred drink of jilted fiancés.

*

At a tattoo convention in New York, artists agreed that their clientele has gone mainstream. True it may be, but I think it's a little much when your kid's teacher sports a tat on her bicep that reads, "åMother Goose•".

*

Time is hipper than I thought. A headline on the mag's website reads, "A rapper who can actually act, Mos Def is the definitive master of the post-bling vibe," whatever that means. I understand they're thinking of changing their masthead to read:

Time. It's the Bomb. Fa sheezy.