Chutzpah!

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Donald Trump wants a street in California named after him. And then he wants Earth renamed "Trumpsilvania."

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From The New York Post: "A German gang stole hundreds of high-end BMWs and Benzes piece by piece over six years as they posed as assembly-line workers." Authorities were tipped off by their incessant whistling of the theme from "The Great Escape."

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An Australian prankster tried to auction off New Zealand on eBay. The site canceled the transaction before Donald Trump had the chance to buy the country and rename it "Trumpghanistan."

Smell Ya Later

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To celebrate the brand's 50th anniversary, Play Doh is marketing a scent called, "eau-de-PLAY-DOH." Look for it at the Toys 'R Us fragrance counter, along with:

• Monopolo


• Nintendobsession


• Eeewww! de Clue


• Crayolanvin


• Etch a Sketch – the Stench


• G.I. JOOP!


• Hungry Hungry Hipposies


• Magic 8 Balenciaga


• My Little PoNina Ricci


• Tickle Me Elmoschino

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Oh, my!: no more Little Mermaid watches and plastic lions, tigers and bears with your Happy Meals. Disney has severed its promotional tie with McDonald's, so as not to bear the taint of childhood obesity. Good news for eau-de-PLAYDOH (and for these also-rans):

• Sad-Eyed Children tattoos (first up: My Puppy Died!)


• Spongebob Squarepants Sponge Bobbers


• Children of the Corn collectibles


• The Most Annoying Kids on TV key chains (first up: Ralph Wiggum)


• Desperate Housewives Colorforms®

Special Delivery

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A pregnant robot named Noelle is being used as a high-tech medical training tool. I think a good name for the baby would be Apple.

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Remote Alaskan villages are now enjoying pizza, thanks to air delivery service. And if the pizza doesn't arrive in thirty hours, it's free.

Reindeer pizza is popular, but don't you just hate it when the hoof sticks to the roof of your mouth?

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Insert Title Here

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In Washington State, the government tried to confiscate the gold tooth caps of two drug dealers, claiming the caps were seizable assets. This must be what's meant by a "cavity search."

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Some enterprising scammer in Indiana tried to palm off an oven door as a flat screen TV. Worse, it only played the Food Network.

Activate Me Vertically

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The Rolling Stones risqué lyrics have been censored during their concert tour of China. Concertgoers are rocking to:

• Let's Spend a Lovely Evening Together and Then I'll Take You Home


• Brown Splenda


• Empathy for the Mischievous Sprite


• May I Have a Room for the Night?


• You Cannot Always Obtain What is Desired


• Activate Me Vertically


• Tawdry Nightclub Women


• I Cannot Acquire Any Bliss

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Steven Spielberg has joined the reality TV pantheon with a new show called, "On the Lot," a "Star Search" for new filmmakers. Celebrity judges: E.T., one Animaniac, two Goonies, and the Gremlin that looks like Miles Davis.

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The Red Cross is undergoing a major overhaul. Its new name is "The Organization Formally Known as the Red Cross."

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Shades of Wallace and Gromit: an enormous rabbit is tearing up vegetable gardens in England. It's a case of life imitating artichokes.

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In Wisconsin, a man was convicted for stealing hundreds of pairs of panties. He maintains he's been thongly accused.

Caveat Emptor

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A Picasso bought at Costco may be a forgery. Worse, the Rice Krispies in Aisle 79 are said to be devoid of krackle.

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A new book is coming out by Johnny Cash's first wife. Likely title: Cashin' In.

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California vintners are pitching wine to men. I can see it now: Manischewitz and a Manwich – the nosh of champions.