Saturday, April 08, 2006

Activate Me Vertically

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The Rolling Stones risqué lyrics have been censored during their concert tour of China. Concertgoers are rocking to:

  • Let's Spend a Lovely Evening Together and Then I'll Take You Home

  • Brown Splenda

  • Empathy for the Mischievous Sprite

  • May I Have a Room for the Night?

  • You Cannot Always Obtain What is Desired

  • Activate Me Vertically

  • Tawdry Nightclub Women

  • I Cannot Acquire Any Bliss


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Steven Spielberg has joined the reality TV pantheon with a new show called, "On the Lot," a "Star Search" for new filmmakers. Celebrity judges: E.T., one Animaniac, two Goonies, and the Gremlin that looks like Miles Davis.

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The Red Cross is undergoing a major overhaul. Its new name is "The Organization Formally Known as the Red Cross."

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Shades of Wallace and Gromit: an enormous rabbit is tearing up vegetable gardens in England. It's a case of life imitating artichokes.

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In Wisconsin, a man was convicted for stealing hundreds of pairs of panties. He maintains he's been thongly accused.

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