Monday, December 20, 2004

This Just In

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China crowned its first "Miss Artificial Beauty" in a contest for women who have undergone plastic surgery. The winner received a dozen artificial roses and a cubic zirconia crown.

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In Hawaii this week, Christmas trees are going for upwards of $200, due to a supply shortage. A few weeks ago, they only cost $80. I bet folks are sorry now that they didn't buy them on a "lei-away" plan.

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A bank robber in Milwaukee handed a teller a note written on the back of his probation papers from a previous bank robbery. The only thing he forgot to do was draw a map of the route to his house.

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