Sunday, April 16, 2006

Special Delivery


A pregnant robot named Noelle is being used as a high-tech medical training tool. I think a good name for the baby would be Apple.


Remote Alaskan villages are now enjoying pizza, thanks to air delivery service. And if the pizza doesn't arrive in thirty hours, it's free.

Reindeer pizza is popular, but don't you just hate it when the hoof sticks to the roof of your mouth?


Monday, April 10, 2006

Insert Title Here

In Washington State, the government tried to confiscate the gold tooth caps of two drug dealers, claiming the caps were seizable assets. This must be what's meant by a "cavity search."


Some enterprising scammer in Indiana tried to palm off an oven door as a flat screen TV. Worse, it only played the Food Network.

Saturday, April 08, 2006

Activate Me Vertically


The Rolling Stones risqué lyrics have been censored during their concert tour of China. Concertgoers are rocking to:

  • Let's Spend a Lovely Evening Together and Then I'll Take You Home

  • Brown Splenda

  • Empathy for the Mischievous Sprite

  • May I Have a Room for the Night?

  • You Cannot Always Obtain What is Desired

  • Activate Me Vertically

  • Tawdry Nightclub Women

  • I Cannot Acquire Any Bliss


Steven Spielberg has joined the reality TV pantheon with a new show called, "On the Lot," a "Star Search" for new filmmakers. Celebrity judges: E.T., one Animaniac, two Goonies, and the Gremlin that looks like Miles Davis.


The Red Cross is undergoing a major overhaul. Its new name is "The Organization Formally Known as the Red Cross."


Shades of Wallace and Gromit: an enormous rabbit is tearing up vegetable gardens in England. It's a case of life imitating artichokes.


In Wisconsin, a man was convicted for stealing hundreds of pairs of panties. He maintains he's been thongly accused.